Abiding is a hard place to dwell.  It is a perfect place of rest and comfort but almost impossible to sustain.  There are many times when I choose to wander away and then there are challenges that cause me to lose my footing and tumble down a well warn path of suffering that I continue to say I loathe but find myself wallowing in nevertheless.  What am I searching for in the darkness?  Knowing full well that only pain comes from disobedience and folly,  I embrace the dim light of the world and trust in it's healing of my wounds over and over again.  What exactly does pride have as a hold over me to reel me into the sufferings I thought I had long ago overcome?  I am my own worst enemy when it comes to doubt and struggle.  No one else has control over my thoughts unless I relinquish them.  Jesus promises that He will never leave or forsake me.  Therefore, I must be the one who moves.

Psalm 139: 1-12 says:
Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and hen I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely.
You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settles on the far side of the sea
even there your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

Truth that there is no darkness too heavy for the hand of a loving Savior to snatch me out of.  His constant tenderness is far greater than anything this world can toss into my path.  He is my light and my salvation.  Only relying on His strength to carry me in my weakest times will suffice.  When I just sit with His Word and choose to dwell there...I find solace and complete rest.  Rest for a weary mind and soul.  He is rest.  He is light.  He alone is truth.  I will trust in that light and allow Him to guide my paths and make them straight.

It all comes down to this.....My hope is in Christ alone.