"God never gives us more than we can bear."

...And then a mother loses her young child unexpectedly and tragically.  A soldier goes off to protect and serve his country leaving behind a wife and young children.  He never returns.  An illness rocks the health of a mom who is the sole provider for her children and they lose their home and ultimately their chance at being together.  A couple yearns for a child and spend years hoping and praying for the miracle of birth to be a part of their lives together but are brokenhearted over and over again.

God never gives us more than we can bear.

A husband watches daily as his wife and the mother of his children slips away because cancer has racked her broken body.  Parents bury their only child.  A teenager suddenly chooses to end his seemingly otherwise perfect life leaving everyone who knew and loved him gasping for air not knowing how they will survive their loss.

God never gives us more than we can bear.

And then everything we believed to be true suddenly seems so false and just empty words.

There are days when the struggles we find ourselves in steals our joy and takes away our ability to just breathe.  It isn't because God doesn't care or isn't listening to our cries for help.  He hears us.  He alone can carry our burdens when we buckle under the load of pain and fear.  Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

You see - God does give us more than we can bear.  Every single day.  Every single hour of every single day.  Every single minute and second of every single day someone in this broken world is asked to bear more than possible.  But 1Corinthians 10:13 promises that "No temptation has seized you except what is common for people.  But God is faithful.  He won't allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities.  Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it."  We are never alone in our sufferings or struggles.

God alone is the solution for all that  is wrong in our daily lives.  We are on a journey that will ultimately bring us closer to knowing just How Great Is Our God.  He feels the pain and suffering of every mother's broken heart, every husband's aching and empty life left behind, all the empty arms of grieving parents left childless.  Every challenge we face in this sinful and broken world will all be made whole one day.  I stand firm on that promise.

Mark 9 tells the story of a father who sought Jesus out because his son had spent his young life possessed by an unclean spirit.  In his desperation he asked Jesus for compassion and help for his son if it was possible.  Verse 23 says "And Jesus said to him, "If you can!  All things are possible for one who believes."  Immediately the father of the child cried out and said "I believe; help my unbelief!"

This is probably where many of us are as we face the trials in our lives, some small and others seemingly insurmountable.  I am choosing to seek His face and ask Him to strengthen and help my unbelief.

Psalm 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Well...He answered my prayer.  Just not as I would have imagined or liked.  There is definitely an end to not knowing but the end is not what I thought was even possible.   My faith is shaken, my resolve wobbly but my stand is in Him.  He is my Rock, my Fortress, the Everlasting God.  However, I do struggle with the why.  I don't think I would be human if I didn't.  Answers are not necessary but certainly might add a bit of peace to the situation.  They are slow to come or will never come at all and I have to just accept that and trust that He has this one and did all along.

My friend is suffering.  She is downcast, angry, sad, exhausted, but most of all broken.  Broken in a broken world.  Her only peace comes from the One who can give us perfect peace.  The hard part is that she is not ready to accept that peace because her faith also is shaken.  Shaken to the core.  She believes in Almighty God.  She trusts Him to be faithful.  She knows He is truth.  But...where was He in the midst of the battle?  

A long and hard fought battle that her husband lost to an angry world.  He did not lose the war!  He is safe in the place we all long to be.  But he is not with his family.  He is not with his church.  He is not with those who love him.  No, he is with the One who loves him unconditionally.  Hard to wrap my mind around.  He seemed fine here with us.  There seemed to be nothing too great that he couldn't take first to His Lord and then to so many others who loved him and knew him well.  Only God knows what the mind can do to our thoughts.  Only God can heal that.  He has healed my dear friends husband once and for all.  

He is whole and no longer suffering with whatever controlled his mind on that fateful day.  It is all just the past.  Where it belongs!  But how do we move on through this travesty?  The only thing we all have is faith.  Faith in the One True God who can heal the brokenhearted and give us peace once again.  Not worldly peace.  But the peace that comes from knowing His grace is sufficient.  

Death is an ugly part of life.  It is final to some.  But not to Bill Hurley.  He has safely arrived at his final destination.  Glory!  Do I understand it? No!  Do I choose to believe it?  Absolutely!  As much as he is and will be missed during our remaining time on this earth...he is loved two fold in a place of pure joy.  Therefore, I will choose to rejoice in the midst of all of the suffering in the chaos that is our world.  Rejoice in the truth that Jesus Christ is Lord!  Rejoice in the belief that we shall see Jesus just as He is!  

Until we meet again, Bill.  

In Him Always.

I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all of his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

THE RIGHTEOUS CRY OUT, AND THE LORD HEARS THEM;
HE DELIVERS THEM FROM ALL THEIR TROUBLES.
THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED
AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD DELIVERS THEM FROM THEM ALL;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34

I have read and reread this passage and must trust and believe every single word of it even in the midst of such a difficult time for my dear friend.  There are no words to describe the grief that is pulsing through her and her family right now but I do know that at the center of their lives is Almighty God who will not waiver in His love for them.

There seem to be no reasons for the struggles from our perspective and no end to the suffering that they are enduring until and unless her husband returns to them unscathed and whole.  In all that surrounds us while we surround them and lift them up in prayer we find that faith is all we have.  It is our only hope.  He is our only hope.  God alone can bring hope into a hopeless situation.  He is our salvation in times of fear and despair.  I choose to camp in His presence and believe in His truth from Romans 8:28 "We know all that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.."

I cannot see any good in my friend's anguish.  Nothing in this situation can be construed as good.  There is unending suffering that causes my heart to break for them.  In 2 Corinthians 1:5 we read "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."  I am a part of the body of Christ because He is absolutely my Lord and Savior.  In that context I am to join those who are also in the body of Christ in their sufferings just as Jesus suffered for me and let the love of Jesus flow through me to my sweet friend.  Sounds so simple. 

All that is in me screams frustration, fear, doubt, disgust, anguish, loss, sadness, anger, pain, resentment, confusion, panic, anxiety....and I could literally go on and on.  However, Psalm 34 tells me that "He delivers them from them all".  "He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit".  I have to rest there and know that my God knows my friend's needs and will lift her up in her times of despair.  He will be her strength and her resolve.  He is her salvation!

As I write this I am reminded that God is always in control.  He knows every detail of every situation and holds us all in the palm of His hand.  His love for us is unfailing and undeniable.  I need to only "Taste and see that the Lord is Good".

Two years feels like an eternity when you are missing someone you love.  Two years is just a mere breath when you get to actually spend eternity with all those you love.

This life has so many ups and downs in it that sometimes we forget that our blessings always and completely outweigh our disappointments.  God in His infinite mercy sent His one and only Son as a sacrifice for all of my sin.  He loves me unconditionally and forever and nothing I have done or can do will ever even put a small dent in that love.  Not my doubt, my lack of faith, my raging disappointment in circumstances, my failures at kindness, my unrelenting complaining, or even my refusal to extend grace to someone who is struggling in their own right can change how much God loves me.

It is most often the clearest to me how much I need His arms to rest in when I struggle with understanding.  His plans are always perfect...His Word declares that promise.   This season of rejoicing over the birth of our Savior will forever be a time of reflection on the life and walk of a mere 13 year old little girl who gave of herself endlessly and selflessly because she believed in the miracle of rebirth through Jesus Christ and had accepted Him as Her Lord and Savior.  The short life she lived impacted so many for the Kingdom in ways we will never even know about until we all see Him face to face in Glory but I do know that she is forever in His loving arms breathing perfect pure air and is perfectly content.

Although it will always be a sad time for my family because we miss her amazing blue eyes and sweet spirit every single day of our lives, we can rest assured that we know she is with the One who loves her far better than we will ever understand.

I love and miss you to the moon and back Lauren Elizabeth Swann.  You were a gift from God and we are all changed by your life and death.

Some days blessings in our lives are so abundant that we never even stop to acknowledge them.  While I am not saying this is where I want to be, I know that I like everyone else am guilty of taking every little thing in my life for granted and not being thankful for every single breath I take.  Breath that comes from a living and loving God.

All that said, this past weekend I did stop and take the time to count a particular blessing in my life.  Nine and a half years ago I lost a sweet and dear friend to breast cancer.  It was a long and hard fought battle that ended in her being called home to be with the Lord.  Even in her weakened physical condition, she accepted my promise to make her girls an important part of our family and our lives.  I vowed to her and before a Holy God that I would love them and care for them any way I could as if they were my own.  Not because I felt like they needed me, but because I needed to be obedient to what was being asked of me by a loving Heavenly Father.

In those 9 1/2 years I have now seen two beautiful brides and the birth of two amazing little boys.  God is so good.  This past Friday I witnessed the marriage of Sharon's baby girl and her amazing groom.  Set on a beautiful beach in Sarasota Florida on a perfect sunny day our family grew with the addition of a wonderful young man we can now call our son-in-law.  Even through the loss of my good friend God proves His faithfulness by allowing me to participate in a wedding that was not only honoring to my friend but gave me the freedom to love that stunning bride without feeling like I was trying to take her place.

I almost feel like Paul when he said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness..." simply because it has been a journey of faith to allow my heart to love these girls like I believe they deserve.  It has been a fight against all that is natural and normal to expect them to love me back.  But, God in His mercy has  made that path straight and given me my heart's desire toward them.  I love them both and everyone that comes with them fully.

There is never a day that I don't think about my friend and all that she is missing.  I am sad when I realize that I am reaping the benefits of her parenting and loving.  Of course I would love for life to be fair and that she would have been here for the weddings and the birth of her grandsons and the future ones to come but God is sovereign and His ways are not my ways.  I will continue to love and cherish them with my whole heart and give thanks for the blessings that I have received.

Congratulations Katharine and Joe!  Your momma would have been beaming with pride:)

I love you.

This year I have decided to take the mission statement from my church and make it my challenge for the New Year.  Every year we make resolutions that are all about us.  We want to lose weight, get more organized, eat more healthy, exercise daily...and on and on.  I want everyone who knows me and pours into my life to know that I have chosen to do none of these.  Shock and awe, I know!  I really do want "to know Christ and make Him known".  I want everyone who already knows who I live for and especially for those who do not to realize what my life is truly about.

I serve a Savior who lived and died for me.  He loves me enough to give me the free gift of eternal life through His death and resurrection.  All I had to do was accept it and share the good news.

"To know Christ and make Him known".  This is my resolution for the New Year!

For one year I have cried, been angry, questioned, doubted, believed, been thankful, pretended, challenged, felt empty, sad, peaceful...and the list goes on and on.  I still don't understand why God chose to take a beautiful little girl away from a family that loved her so deeply, but I do know that He makes no mistakes.  I believe that and I am dwelling there.  There are more days now that I spend less time asking God why and more time thanking Him for 13 sweet years watching Lauren grow in His love for others.  There will never be a day when I don't think about her amazing blue eyes and how they impacted everyone she met.  I am thankful most of all that she shared her faith and her love for her Savior.  Many young and old hearts were changed by her death and will hopefully come to know the Lord she loved so much.  Some days it seems only yesterday that she went to her heavenly home but a year will have come and gone on the 23rd of December.  I hope she knows how much we all loved her but most of all how happy we are that if we had to lose her so early in her sweet life that we know she is safe in the arms of Jesus.

Lauren Elizabeth Swann we miss you always.