I keep waiting to feel different.  Not necessarily great but at least less empty.  I wonder daily how anyone can deal with something as difficult as the death of someone they love without the Lord to lean on.  I know He cares about my sorrow.  I know He hears my pleas for strength.  I know He feels my pain and binds my wounded heart.  I believe that He and He alone can change my path.  Still I turn on my computer every day and see a beautiful, smiling 13 year old looking back at me and my heart breaks all over again.

There is no easy fix for loneliness and brokenness except for trusting in the One who knows our needs even before we ask.  I fail to ask Him every morning.  Some days I forget that He wants to hear my cries for healing.  The deepest desire of my heart is for Him to be ever present in my thoughts of Lauren and her journey into His presence.  She is with the Lord.  I know this to be true because He told me it is.  2 Corinthians 5:8 says "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."  I believe that Lauren would say those very words to us all if given the chance.  She is with her Heavenly Father who loves her more than we could ever imagine.  I just miss her smiling face and I know her mom, Nana and Poppy along with the rest of her family miss her most of all:)

The 23rd of May will be 5 months since our sweet and beautiful Lauren went home to be with the Lord.  Not a day goes by that we don't wish for one more smile,  but we have the assurance that we will see that amazing "brace less" perfect smile again one day very soon.

It all comes down to this....I don't know about tomorrow, but I know who holds my hand.

I love you sweet girl.

Aunt Gail