Well...He answered my prayer.  Just not as I would have imagined or liked.  There is definitely an end to not knowing but the end is not what I thought was even possible.   My faith is shaken, my resolve wobbly but my stand is in Him.  He is my Rock, my Fortress, the Everlasting God.  However, I do struggle with the why.  I don't think I would be human if I didn't.  Answers are not necessary but certainly might add a bit of peace to the situation.  They are slow to come or will never come at all and I have to just accept that and trust that He has this one and did all along.

My friend is suffering.  She is downcast, angry, sad, exhausted, but most of all broken.  Broken in a broken world.  Her only peace comes from the One who can give us perfect peace.  The hard part is that she is not ready to accept that peace because her faith also is shaken.  Shaken to the core.  She believes in Almighty God.  She trusts Him to be faithful.  She knows He is truth.  But...where was He in the midst of the battle?  

A long and hard fought battle that her husband lost to an angry world.  He did not lose the war!  He is safe in the place we all long to be.  But he is not with his family.  He is not with his church.  He is not with those who love him.  No, he is with the One who loves him unconditionally.  Hard to wrap my mind around.  He seemed fine here with us.  There seemed to be nothing too great that he couldn't take first to His Lord and then to so many others who loved him and knew him well.  Only God knows what the mind can do to our thoughts.  Only God can heal that.  He has healed my dear friends husband once and for all.  

He is whole and no longer suffering with whatever controlled his mind on that fateful day.  It is all just the past.  Where it belongs!  But how do we move on through this travesty?  The only thing we all have is faith.  Faith in the One True God who can heal the brokenhearted and give us peace once again.  Not worldly peace.  But the peace that comes from knowing His grace is sufficient.  

Death is an ugly part of life.  It is final to some.  But not to Bill Hurley.  He has safely arrived at his final destination.  Glory!  Do I understand it? No!  Do I choose to believe it?  Absolutely!  As much as he is and will be missed during our remaining time on this earth...he is loved two fold in a place of pure joy.  Therefore, I will choose to rejoice in the midst of all of the suffering in the chaos that is our world.  Rejoice in the truth that Jesus Christ is Lord!  Rejoice in the belief that we shall see Jesus just as He is!  

Until we meet again, Bill.  

In Him Always.