Two years feels like an eternity when you are missing someone you love.  Two years is just a mere breath when you get to actually spend eternity with all those you love.

This life has so many ups and downs in it that sometimes we forget that our blessings always and completely outweigh our disappointments.  God in His infinite mercy sent His one and only Son as a sacrifice for all of my sin.  He loves me unconditionally and forever and nothing I have done or can do will ever even put a small dent in that love.  Not my doubt, my lack of faith, my raging disappointment in circumstances, my failures at kindness, my unrelenting complaining, or even my refusal to extend grace to someone who is struggling in their own right can change how much God loves me.

It is most often the clearest to me how much I need His arms to rest in when I struggle with understanding.  His plans are always perfect...His Word declares that promise.   This season of rejoicing over the birth of our Savior will forever be a time of reflection on the life and walk of a mere 13 year old little girl who gave of herself endlessly and selflessly because she believed in the miracle of rebirth through Jesus Christ and had accepted Him as Her Lord and Savior.  The short life she lived impacted so many for the Kingdom in ways we will never even know about until we all see Him face to face in Glory but I do know that she is forever in His loving arms breathing perfect pure air and is perfectly content.

Although it will always be a sad time for my family because we miss her amazing blue eyes and sweet spirit every single day of our lives, we can rest assured that we know she is with the One who loves her far better than we will ever understand.

I love and miss you to the moon and back Lauren Elizabeth Swann.  You were a gift from God and we are all changed by your life and death.

Some days blessings in our lives are so abundant that we never even stop to acknowledge them.  While I am not saying this is where I want to be, I know that I like everyone else am guilty of taking every little thing in my life for granted and not being thankful for every single breath I take.  Breath that comes from a living and loving God.

All that said, this past weekend I did stop and take the time to count a particular blessing in my life.  Nine and a half years ago I lost a sweet and dear friend to breast cancer.  It was a long and hard fought battle that ended in her being called home to be with the Lord.  Even in her weakened physical condition, she accepted my promise to make her girls an important part of our family and our lives.  I vowed to her and before a Holy God that I would love them and care for them any way I could as if they were my own.  Not because I felt like they needed me, but because I needed to be obedient to what was being asked of me by a loving Heavenly Father.

In those 9 1/2 years I have now seen two beautiful brides and the birth of two amazing little boys.  God is so good.  This past Friday I witnessed the marriage of Sharon's baby girl and her amazing groom.  Set on a beautiful beach in Sarasota Florida on a perfect sunny day our family grew with the addition of a wonderful young man we can now call our son-in-law.  Even through the loss of my good friend God proves His faithfulness by allowing me to participate in a wedding that was not only honoring to my friend but gave me the freedom to love that stunning bride without feeling like I was trying to take her place.

I almost feel like Paul when he said, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness..." simply because it has been a journey of faith to allow my heart to love these girls like I believe they deserve.  It has been a fight against all that is natural and normal to expect them to love me back.  But, God in His mercy has  made that path straight and given me my heart's desire toward them.  I love them both and everyone that comes with them fully.

There is never a day that I don't think about my friend and all that she is missing.  I am sad when I realize that I am reaping the benefits of her parenting and loving.  Of course I would love for life to be fair and that she would have been here for the weddings and the birth of her grandsons and the future ones to come but God is sovereign and His ways are not my ways.  I will continue to love and cherish them with my whole heart and give thanks for the blessings that I have received.

Congratulations Katharine and Joe!  Your momma would have been beaming with pride:)

I love you.

This year I have decided to take the mission statement from my church and make it my challenge for the New Year.  Every year we make resolutions that are all about us.  We want to lose weight, get more organized, eat more healthy, exercise daily...and on and on.  I want everyone who knows me and pours into my life to know that I have chosen to do none of these.  Shock and awe, I know!  I really do want "to know Christ and make Him known".  I want everyone who already knows who I live for and especially for those who do not to realize what my life is truly about.

I serve a Savior who lived and died for me.  He loves me enough to give me the free gift of eternal life through His death and resurrection.  All I had to do was accept it and share the good news.

"To know Christ and make Him known".  This is my resolution for the New Year!