Psalm 119:28  "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your Word."

Over and over in the scriptures we are given truths about what we should do with our fears, anxieties, sorrows, worries, challenges, doubts.....  Laying them down and trusting in the One we have put our faith and trust in, Almighty God, comes so easily for me.  I love the amazing feeling of unburdening myself at the foot of the cross.  Pouring out all of my cares and begging God to relieve me of them and the struggles they cause in my walk.  Opening up and weeping over the sin in my life and knowing He is faithful to hear and answer my prayers.  Sometimes (most often) not exactly in my timing or in my chosen way, but always I believe according to His best and His will.

But...many days I feel like I am on a treadmill of sorts walking the same five feet over and over again.  All of my own choosing.  Even though I have made my prayerful and earnest requests known to my Lord and Savior who has promised me His constant and abiding love, fear and worry begin to creep back in.  Philippians 4:16 tells me "Do not be anxious about anything but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God".  I know He cares.  I know He hears.  I believe in His promises.  But I fear the day's unfolding events.  They are completely out of my control.  I worry about the unknown.  I play the outcomes over and over in my mind until it just becomes too much for me to bear and I find myself back at the foot of the cross looking for comfort and understanding.  Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,  for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own".  One day at a time.

1 Peter 5:10 promises me that "..the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast".  Not in my time frame or on my time table.  In my humanness I want comfortable.  I want a life of happiness and contentment.  The real problem is that I find myself accepting the happiness that the world extends and begin to believe that will fill my emptiness and help with my struggles.  In reality I need joy and that can only come from walk with my Lord.  He has to be enough in the good times but also in the dark times of struggle.  His abiding love is the only true healing salve for our wounds of unhappiness, grief, hurt, discontent, suffering....

I will cling to that truth and look to Him for my strength in times of trials in my daily walk because 1 Peter 5:7 tells me to "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you".  I am so thankful that He cares about my needs but also my desires.  No judgement - just His grace.  I want to lay everything down, believe in His truths and trust His best for me in every challenge that comes my way.

So I choose to step off my treadmill of unbelief and doubt and choose to embrace His Word for what it is- the Truth and rest there in His peace and comfort.

It all comes down to this..."Restore to me the joy of thy salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me."  Psalm 51:12